MAN it has been a long time since I have gotten on here! So much...so so much has gone on in my life and i haven't a second to SHIT more or less get on here and write. So sad, cause I like to write on here and talk about the stuff I go through. I am slammed with school.This crammed situation I'm in is making me go back in time and think if all of those keg stands at auburn were reallllllly worth it. Were those night staying up till the butt crack of dawn REAAAAAAALLLLLY worth having me taking THIS LONG to finish a lame ass degree?
Zac started back his pharmacy school, and he is doing fantastic keeping up with his weight loss and studying. I on the other hand, have eaten so much sour patch and swedish fish that my DNA has been altered for sure. I think that if they were to slice me in half i would be made out of some sour gummy substance.
I just want august to get here. My morals are so low right now that I would do ANYTHING to finish this roller coaster. I promise. I know zac has to feel the same way. I am so glad we are friends and get along, cause I tell ya if I had to live with a roomate that was aweful I would crawl their ass so fast right now they would melt in a puddle. At least zac is cute too. It would REALLY suck to have to come home to someone unattractive. How would you feel if YOU worked your butt off all day, studied four about 5-6 hours to crawl in the bed with someone whose beauty could be enhanced with a BURKA.
I miss my friends, I miss my family, I miss chit chatting on the phone all the time, I miss watching tv, I miss sleeping in, I miss eating good and not eating stressful swedish fish, I miss working in the yard and the house, I miss eating dinner with zac, I miss going to bed early, I miss excersizing, i miss partying, i miss having TONS of people over......
Ok, now that I have gotten as pitiful as possible, I am going to tell you a few cool things that have happened lately in my life. Starting small to big.
One: I ate Ranelli's italian this friday for lunch. have any of yall eaten Ranelli's?? I better watch out with THAT place. If i keep going at this rate, I will be able to get GROUP life insurance for my big ass.
TWO: I sure do love my fish roosafee. I hope i get a picture up with him in it, he sure does make my work more fun.
ThREE: I am getting a new position at work, had to move desks. I will be monitoring reports. At first i thought this was no big deal, but then when all the supervisors asked if I would do it and all my co-workers kept congratulating me, i thought "well damn! musta done something good!"
FOUR: I GOT MY IPOD FIXED. HURRRRRRRAY!
that is it, was not much. I am going to end this blog with some good wise cracks for you to use on your friends....how about that?
If they are ugly: "Can I borrow your face for a few days? My ass is going on holiday."
Stupid: "If you spoke your mind, you'd be speechless."
Stupider: "If your brains were taxed, you would get a rebate."
Smarty Pants: "CLEARLY you have chosen knowning everything over having friends."
Fat: "go ahead and pull up a sofa."
too skinny: "yellow makes you look like a No. 2 Pencil"
Short: " My neck hurts from insulting you."
Poor Hygene: "Using deodarant is NOT the same as taking a shower."
Bad style: " I'm sure that outfit would look good on someone."
Asshole: "You're the reason God made the middle finger."
Liars: " You're so two faced, your spouse will be a bigamist."
Hoochie: "Your so slutty, you take the morning after pill the night before."
Old: "You're so old , you think a Blackberry is a fruit."
Older: "They asked you to be on Antiques Roadshow to be appraised."
Dumb Youngins: "You still think a paycheck is what you spend on a wardrobe."
Saturday, February 6, 2010
Monday, January 18, 2010
LENT (not the belly button kind)
So I have been pndering the whole idea of lent this year and I think that God has placed in my heart what he wants me to offer up for him.
First off let me tell you that I love my faith and I am not a holy roller but would STRONGLY suggest that everyone, Catholic or not, do something a little special for God during the Lent season. For those who do not know what LENT is, it is a time of 40 days where Christians (key word CHRISTIANS not just catholics) prepare themselves for Easter. Fasting is a big part of lent.
Why fast some might ask? well fasting serves as a penace or sacrifice that strengthens us. You fast from food, you get hungry (which sucks but hear me out), you get hungry and that heightens your sense of awareness, it gives us a feeling of alertness. (Cause when you eat you get sluggish and tired right? i sure as hell do) Fasting is an awesome excerise whenever we want to ask for some serious graces from God. No it shouldn't be something to get attention. And you know, it doesnt always have to be giving up food. You can give up a bad habit. Sometimes instead of giving up something you can ADD something to this 40 days to give to God. I met this one woman for lent decided to go to morning mass (that is 6 am people) everyday for 40 days. That is somethin serious right there. Man I don't know if I could do that, but I bet God has her set in line for a YACHT for something that big,,,dang.
No but anyways, why not right? Do you pray enough? I don't, I used to though. Used to say my prayers every night before I fell asleep. Bad habit getting out of that. That can be a good lent goal. Making an effort saying prayers with 100 percent attention and being sincere.
Not talking negative about people. Thats a good one. How easy it is to laugh behind someones back at someones expense? I catch myself doing this sometimes because I like to joke. But it would be wonderful for 40 days to train your mind and mouth how to be nice in front and behind someones face. Even if you can't stand their guts.
Giving up food is always classic. I don't like doing this one for myself though. See I like to lose weight and I would be doing this one more for myself than God. So i avoid this one, not because I think it is too hard...but because I get wrapped in in the weight loss part than the whole point of strengthing my prayer life.
So I have been thinking of what I want to do for lent. I was sitting in the tub and it hit me like a bag of bricks randomly. I thought "Naw...that is too hard..." But is has not left my mind for 3 days. And I think it won't unless I sit back and embrace it.
I have my priorities all wrong right now. I have had them wrong for the last year and I just need to face the facts and get my shit straight. I have certain important categories in my life, and these are the order I have them in as we speak.
Work
Friends
School
Zac
Family
God
Oh yes, I am so serious. Some of my friends are probably like "WHAT??? WE NEVER SEE YOU!" But hey if my work schedule permits I do see my friends. I talk to me friends on the way to and from work everyday, from leaving the parking lot all the way to pulling into my driveway. On the phone all the time. This causes alot of fights for me and zac cause I don't pay any attention to him.
Needless to say this order cause me to sleep in on Sunday thru church (or work thru church), fight with zac cause i don't have much one on one time as much as I should, I pick my friends over family sometimes which is a major mistake cause it is easier to cancel on family than it is to break a commitment to a friend (at least it is to me), I am behind in school cause i am more concerned to talking,planning or hanging out with friends sometimes.
So for Lent, I think I am going to take the friends out of the mix for a while and put my work priority in place. Also I am going to put Sunday as a priority day over a monday work day. So these are my rules:
I am going to make sure my prayers are said, I fast on the appropriate days and make Sunday priority. Communion is a must, if not it is confession time.
Work is 40 hours a week, I will work maybe 1-2 hours of OT, no more. I usually work more than that but I need to keep a lid on it, i have too much on myu plate.
Zac and I need to spend anytime free with each other as possible. He will be in Pharmacy school full blast, I am in school and working full blast so having 20 minutes with him will be a lucky break. I need to value that.
School has to be done, it is just as important as work. Before even thinking about fun stuff, school has to be done. I am too close to finishing and I am taking 16 hours, I don't have time to poot around.
Since friends are my biggest temptations, hanging- calling- visiting etc, I am going to have to put them on hold. NOT SAYING I AM PUTTING MY FRIENDSHIPS ON HOLD, HELL KNOW I GOT TOO MANY AWESOME FRIENDS.
But I tell ya, not talking to my friends to and from work and saying a prayer or sitting in silence everyday will help my prayer life out alot. Coming home and not having company to plan for or even events to plan to go out to but having 40 days for God, prayer, school, work zac and immediate family will be something good for me and my life and also a BIG GIVE-UP to God. Cause I sure love friends and hanging out. And going out. And I sure love doing that before studying, or praying or hanging out with zac.
So to my friends, I am doing this because I love you guys SO MUCH that I would do just about anything for you. So starting Ash Weds into Easter, I am not going to chit chat on the phone, not going to hang out. I was trying to think of exceptions to these rules you know? One of them was I am in a friends wedding and will be going to some functions for that. I count that seperate. Anything having to do with her wedding is something that I have commited to and think that is okay. Emergencies? If a friend is on the side of the road? I can see that. A friend pissed at a co-worker? Nope. There is too may other people to call for chit-chat. The only hard one that I can forsee is Lindsey. Her man is getting deployed and she is going to be left high and dry for a year. That is a long time to be missing a boyfriend in my opinion. So what should I do about that? That is the one place i need advice. I want to be there for her.
But other than the above, in a nut shell
I am only using my phone for IMMEDIATE family and Zac.
My 40 days is going to only include God, work, school, zac and immediate family
And I am going to have a BIG ASS EASTER PARTY FO' SHO.
I am going to get on facebook every once in a while, but not much.
So friends, don't be offended. it isn't a bad thing. Abraham was going to give up his son Isaac right?
Give me some support buds, I know yall will support this if i truly beleive it.
So tell me, any of you guys giving up or doing anything for lent??
First off let me tell you that I love my faith and I am not a holy roller but would STRONGLY suggest that everyone, Catholic or not, do something a little special for God during the Lent season. For those who do not know what LENT is, it is a time of 40 days where Christians (key word CHRISTIANS not just catholics) prepare themselves for Easter. Fasting is a big part of lent.
Why fast some might ask? well fasting serves as a penace or sacrifice that strengthens us. You fast from food, you get hungry (which sucks but hear me out), you get hungry and that heightens your sense of awareness, it gives us a feeling of alertness. (Cause when you eat you get sluggish and tired right? i sure as hell do) Fasting is an awesome excerise whenever we want to ask for some serious graces from God. No it shouldn't be something to get attention. And you know, it doesnt always have to be giving up food. You can give up a bad habit. Sometimes instead of giving up something you can ADD something to this 40 days to give to God. I met this one woman for lent decided to go to morning mass (that is 6 am people) everyday for 40 days. That is somethin serious right there. Man I don't know if I could do that, but I bet God has her set in line for a YACHT for something that big,,,dang.
No but anyways, why not right? Do you pray enough? I don't, I used to though. Used to say my prayers every night before I fell asleep. Bad habit getting out of that. That can be a good lent goal. Making an effort saying prayers with 100 percent attention and being sincere.
Not talking negative about people. Thats a good one. How easy it is to laugh behind someones back at someones expense? I catch myself doing this sometimes because I like to joke. But it would be wonderful for 40 days to train your mind and mouth how to be nice in front and behind someones face. Even if you can't stand their guts.
Giving up food is always classic. I don't like doing this one for myself though. See I like to lose weight and I would be doing this one more for myself than God. So i avoid this one, not because I think it is too hard...but because I get wrapped in in the weight loss part than the whole point of strengthing my prayer life.
So I have been thinking of what I want to do for lent. I was sitting in the tub and it hit me like a bag of bricks randomly. I thought "Naw...that is too hard..." But is has not left my mind for 3 days. And I think it won't unless I sit back and embrace it.
I have my priorities all wrong right now. I have had them wrong for the last year and I just need to face the facts and get my shit straight. I have certain important categories in my life, and these are the order I have them in as we speak.
Work
Friends
School
Zac
Family
God
Oh yes, I am so serious. Some of my friends are probably like "WHAT??? WE NEVER SEE YOU!" But hey if my work schedule permits I do see my friends. I talk to me friends on the way to and from work everyday, from leaving the parking lot all the way to pulling into my driveway. On the phone all the time. This causes alot of fights for me and zac cause I don't pay any attention to him.
Needless to say this order cause me to sleep in on Sunday thru church (or work thru church), fight with zac cause i don't have much one on one time as much as I should, I pick my friends over family sometimes which is a major mistake cause it is easier to cancel on family than it is to break a commitment to a friend (at least it is to me), I am behind in school cause i am more concerned to talking,planning or hanging out with friends sometimes.
So for Lent, I think I am going to take the friends out of the mix for a while and put my work priority in place. Also I am going to put Sunday as a priority day over a monday work day. So these are my rules:
I am going to make sure my prayers are said, I fast on the appropriate days and make Sunday priority. Communion is a must, if not it is confession time.
Work is 40 hours a week, I will work maybe 1-2 hours of OT, no more. I usually work more than that but I need to keep a lid on it, i have too much on myu plate.
Zac and I need to spend anytime free with each other as possible. He will be in Pharmacy school full blast, I am in school and working full blast so having 20 minutes with him will be a lucky break. I need to value that.
School has to be done, it is just as important as work. Before even thinking about fun stuff, school has to be done. I am too close to finishing and I am taking 16 hours, I don't have time to poot around.
Since friends are my biggest temptations, hanging- calling- visiting etc, I am going to have to put them on hold. NOT SAYING I AM PUTTING MY FRIENDSHIPS ON HOLD, HELL KNOW I GOT TOO MANY AWESOME FRIENDS.
But I tell ya, not talking to my friends to and from work and saying a prayer or sitting in silence everyday will help my prayer life out alot. Coming home and not having company to plan for or even events to plan to go out to but having 40 days for God, prayer, school, work zac and immediate family will be something good for me and my life and also a BIG GIVE-UP to God. Cause I sure love friends and hanging out. And going out. And I sure love doing that before studying, or praying or hanging out with zac.
So to my friends, I am doing this because I love you guys SO MUCH that I would do just about anything for you. So starting Ash Weds into Easter, I am not going to chit chat on the phone, not going to hang out. I was trying to think of exceptions to these rules you know? One of them was I am in a friends wedding and will be going to some functions for that. I count that seperate. Anything having to do with her wedding is something that I have commited to and think that is okay. Emergencies? If a friend is on the side of the road? I can see that. A friend pissed at a co-worker? Nope. There is too may other people to call for chit-chat. The only hard one that I can forsee is Lindsey. Her man is getting deployed and she is going to be left high and dry for a year. That is a long time to be missing a boyfriend in my opinion. So what should I do about that? That is the one place i need advice. I want to be there for her.
But other than the above, in a nut shell
I am only using my phone for IMMEDIATE family and Zac.
My 40 days is going to only include God, work, school, zac and immediate family
And I am going to have a BIG ASS EASTER PARTY FO' SHO.
I am going to get on facebook every once in a while, but not much.
So friends, don't be offended. it isn't a bad thing. Abraham was going to give up his son Isaac right?
Give me some support buds, I know yall will support this if i truly beleive it.
So tell me, any of you guys giving up or doing anything for lent??
Sunday, January 17, 2010
All about my 10 day mental trip
So I have been MIA for the last weekish. I have been going thru a 10 day hell trip with my mentality and my physical being. (no i am not bi-polar, sckitzo, suicidal...) I had to get on some hormones for my body so I can get this body we call "Mae Martin" primed for babies and to avoid the chances of that unexpected friend cancer. So these pills I am taking are actually made for menopausal women. I was taking a major dose. When I mean major, I was taking such a large dose that I am suprised I didn't turn into a transvestite or get confused with my sexuality. Needless to say I would cry if the wind blew just right and if Zac had 1 oz of attitude in his voice I would eat his ass for dinner! Bless his heart. I got very forgetful (the last blog) and I was so emotional and felt like all was against me! It SUCKED. I tell ya, I would rather have walking pnemonia, naked in the woods in front of 1000 people then go through that again. I bet zac would trade and be naked in front of a 1000 people too to avaiod me being that way again too. bless his heart. The best way to describe this feeling is the squirrel in the ice-age movie, but female with a PMS times 10.
I was eating candy hand over fists, chugging coke like I was about to die, threw up a couple times (the toliet was my friend for many other reasons), had a 10 day headache and was exausted like i ran a marathon in my sleep. I was mean a rattle snake if something rubbed me the wrong way and zac and I were NOT buddies during this time. (bless his heart...) But let me tell you my favorite story about this...
About 3 months ago, I bought tickets online for my favorite comedian, Brian Regan. He was playing in Montgomery around 7:30 pm in Montgomery on a random Thursday night in January. I was supermuch excited. Last time he came we ate at a sushi restaraunt before and ate so much we got sick, showed up at the Alabama Theater and every time we laughed i thought i was going to throw up or fart in front of everyone. So we tried to plan better this next time ;)
So i bought the tickets, 70 bucks, and put it on my calendar. Sadly I have to plan things many months ahead of time since I am in school and working and zac is doing the same. Between, school, work, friends, family, God and the house in general, Zac and I do not have much time where we can do something we enjoy just us two that doesn't include just watching TV. I was very very very excited.
So, thursday finally came, I get off work at 4:45pm instead of 4:30. And that 15 minutes caused me to be in traffic about 1 hour before getting home. So now we are hitting 5:45 and zac is ill because we obviously do not have enough time to stop and sit down for a good dinner and I am ill because I feel like Zac is insinuating (is that how you spell it?) that is is my fault I didn't plan to get off work early. "Sorry, I guess I didn't plan that there would be a wreck on the highway, my bad...." My smart ass, hormonal mind was saying. (I was still on the 10 day hell ride). So we were both being shit asses talking to each other while pulling into wendy's to grab a quick bight while driving to Momtgomery. I was taking everything wrong that Zac said and I started to cry and get upset. I apologized for making this last 10 days so emoitional and hard and that I wish they could just rip out the ovaries and be done with it than have to go through this crying shit anymore. He agreed jokingly which was stupid cause when he did my eye started twitching.....twitching...cause I was about to LOSE IT.
So I was upset and being quiet, so was zac, we were running late, the tom tom kept confusing me so I kept taking wrong turns which had Zac yelling at me telling me where to turn, which made me start crying, which made zac pissed, which made me cry more....yes it was a vicious cylce. So it is 7:20, the show starts in 10 minutes and we are right outside the civic center we are supposed to be in. Zac is trying to tell me where to park, I keep messing up and then I cut across traffic and yep, you guessed it. I get pulled over RIGHT OUTSIDE THE F-N PLACE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN. I am about to cry my eyeballs out now, cause I have a feeling that if this policeman says one smart thing I am going to crawl his ass and Zac will end up going to jail because of me. (Yes this medicine gave me some big cah-hones). So the officer comes up to the car and he was cute as hell and says "You know that one of your headlights is blown?" One of the very few braincells I had left died of shock. I was thinking " All this shit I am going through, the hurry we are in, the way I feel, and this guy pulls me over CAUSE OF A HEADLIGHT???" man talk about being at the wrong place at thr WRONG TIME. So i give him my license. I can't find the insurance card so i give him an expired one to look over and he sits in his car for a long 15 minutes to make sure I am not a murderer or wnated for drug trafficing in his data base. I was bitching in the car, zac was bitching at me bitching which made me bitch more. I WAS GETTING LIVIDLY PISSED. The cute cop comes back, gives me a warning and sends me on my way. So now we are trying to find a parking, zac keeps pointing at a park deck, I am getting lost and confused, he tells me "THAT ONE THAT ONE!" So i cut traffic, go into this parking deck which cost like 5 bucks an hour, get a ticket hurriedly while crying, and go up a one way ramp. He is like "park here...PARK HERE!" I turned and parked INTO a valet parking spot and I can't pull out cause it is a one way and just so happened a thousand people decided to come into the parking deck right then. It is like 7:50 now and I say "F-IT, WE ARE GOING HOME." Zac goies to tell me how to go and I make i t a point to state that if he looked in my general direction, breathed in my general direction, or tells me what to do at all his ass is staying in Montgomery. We drive home an hour & half in silence.
Yes when I got to work, I had flowers deleivered. Zac and I are friends now.
I was eating candy hand over fists, chugging coke like I was about to die, threw up a couple times (the toliet was my friend for many other reasons), had a 10 day headache and was exausted like i ran a marathon in my sleep. I was mean a rattle snake if something rubbed me the wrong way and zac and I were NOT buddies during this time. (bless his heart...) But let me tell you my favorite story about this...
About 3 months ago, I bought tickets online for my favorite comedian, Brian Regan. He was playing in Montgomery around 7:30 pm in Montgomery on a random Thursday night in January. I was supermuch excited. Last time he came we ate at a sushi restaraunt before and ate so much we got sick, showed up at the Alabama Theater and every time we laughed i thought i was going to throw up or fart in front of everyone. So we tried to plan better this next time ;)
So i bought the tickets, 70 bucks, and put it on my calendar. Sadly I have to plan things many months ahead of time since I am in school and working and zac is doing the same. Between, school, work, friends, family, God and the house in general, Zac and I do not have much time where we can do something we enjoy just us two that doesn't include just watching TV. I was very very very excited.
So, thursday finally came, I get off work at 4:45pm instead of 4:30. And that 15 minutes caused me to be in traffic about 1 hour before getting home. So now we are hitting 5:45 and zac is ill because we obviously do not have enough time to stop and sit down for a good dinner and I am ill because I feel like Zac is insinuating (is that how you spell it?) that is is my fault I didn't plan to get off work early. "Sorry, I guess I didn't plan that there would be a wreck on the highway, my bad...." My smart ass, hormonal mind was saying. (I was still on the 10 day hell ride). So we were both being shit asses talking to each other while pulling into wendy's to grab a quick bight while driving to Momtgomery. I was taking everything wrong that Zac said and I started to cry and get upset. I apologized for making this last 10 days so emoitional and hard and that I wish they could just rip out the ovaries and be done with it than have to go through this crying shit anymore. He agreed jokingly which was stupid cause when he did my eye started twitching.....twitching...cause I was about to LOSE IT.
So I was upset and being quiet, so was zac, we were running late, the tom tom kept confusing me so I kept taking wrong turns which had Zac yelling at me telling me where to turn, which made me start crying, which made zac pissed, which made me cry more....yes it was a vicious cylce. So it is 7:20, the show starts in 10 minutes and we are right outside the civic center we are supposed to be in. Zac is trying to tell me where to park, I keep messing up and then I cut across traffic and yep, you guessed it. I get pulled over RIGHT OUTSIDE THE F-N PLACE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN. I am about to cry my eyeballs out now, cause I have a feeling that if this policeman says one smart thing I am going to crawl his ass and Zac will end up going to jail because of me. (Yes this medicine gave me some big cah-hones). So the officer comes up to the car and he was cute as hell and says "You know that one of your headlights is blown?" One of the very few braincells I had left died of shock. I was thinking " All this shit I am going through, the hurry we are in, the way I feel, and this guy pulls me over CAUSE OF A HEADLIGHT???" man talk about being at the wrong place at thr WRONG TIME. So i give him my license. I can't find the insurance card so i give him an expired one to look over and he sits in his car for a long 15 minutes to make sure I am not a murderer or wnated for drug trafficing in his data base. I was bitching in the car, zac was bitching at me bitching which made me bitch more. I WAS GETTING LIVIDLY PISSED. The cute cop comes back, gives me a warning and sends me on my way. So now we are trying to find a parking, zac keeps pointing at a park deck, I am getting lost and confused, he tells me "THAT ONE THAT ONE!" So i cut traffic, go into this parking deck which cost like 5 bucks an hour, get a ticket hurriedly while crying, and go up a one way ramp. He is like "park here...PARK HERE!" I turned and parked INTO a valet parking spot and I can't pull out cause it is a one way and just so happened a thousand people decided to come into the parking deck right then. It is like 7:50 now and I say "F-IT, WE ARE GOING HOME." Zac goies to tell me how to go and I make i t a point to state that if he looked in my general direction, breathed in my general direction, or tells me what to do at all his ass is staying in Montgomery. We drive home an hour & half in silence.
Yes when I got to work, I had flowers deleivered. Zac and I are friends now.
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
My feet are cold as hell and I am tired @ 8:45...WTF
Ok so i was talking to zac some time ago about my mental handicapps I have been experiencing. I told him that I am suffering from alzheimers (is that how you spell it?) at an early age. Nothing against ANYONE with alzeihmers...not that you would remember this blog anyways, or nothing against anyone who knows anyone that has it.
Lately since i have been in school i feel like i have gotten dumber. I asked my doctor why I have been getting so absent minded. It is getting worse. I asked zac how I could get my mind tested and he told me an autopsy on my brain. I asked them how they could do that and he told me I had to be dead first. So i guess that option is out.
I am getting so forgetful that it has past the funny mark and gotten really aggrevating. I lock my car keys in my car at least 2-3 times a month. AAA told me that i reached my limit and i can't call them anymore. Actually locked myself out of the house this past weekend. Broke in with a credit card. Shady I know. I have the regular days where I look everywhere for my keys and they are hanging from my hand, forget dates that i made with friends, all kinds of stuff. Last night I accidently put the salad in the pantry and the peanut butter in the fridge. Washed my brand new ipod. I am usually used to it, but today i got pissed.
So last night, I spent an hour getting zac and my dinner made while getting our lunch ready for the next work day (that's today). Made the most perfect lunch ever. Salad with almonds and cheese and turkey and tomoatoes and onions with a side of italian sausage and apples with peanut butter. With nice snacks. I mean doesn't that sound nice? Doesn't lunches like that make you excited to eat? Well I wake up this morning late and I am flying out the door with my stuff trying to make it to work at a decent time.
So i get to work and settle in and ready for breakfast while I check my emails. And my freakin lunch box is no where to be found. I LEFT IT AT HOME! DAMMIT!
So I ask the girls if anyone is ordering today and they tell me that I dont have to worry about it cause we are having a team meeting and we are getting fed! ROCK OUT.
about 15 minutes goes by and I am thinking about when i need to order my food. I am like "Do I want Yoe Xpress? Moe's?" So i ask the girls if they want Yoes or Moes and they look at me crazy. Cause like 15 MINUTES AGO they told me that we are having a meeting where we are being fed. "That's right, that's right".
So by now my stomache is eating my asshole I am so hungry and finally we got to the meeting. I eat some food , finish up the meeting and get back to my desk. about 2 hours goes by and it is time for my snack. I go to the community fridge for my lunch box, not there. I go to the community kitchen, no there, not under my desk. Then I remember that i dont have my lunch box. And now i am getting pissed cause i keep forgetting.
So I am starving by now and I am at work late. HOLY HELL I FORGOT I HAVE YOGURT IN THE FRIDGE. i had like 4 of them in the fridge. ok, so i dont know if you guys know what "activia" yogurt is, but it is supposed to make you "regular" and your supposed to only eat 2 a day. Well definately didn't know that till i was looking at the label while eating my fourth yogurt. Whhhhhhhhhhhhat??
So about an hour goes by and i feel like that movie that the alien crawls out of the guys belly. I didn't know how i was going to make it it the car, let alone make it home. Shit I know i am out of gas too. i am going to have to stop and get gas.
Wouldn't you know it, I unlock my car door, and guess what falls out...
my lunch box.
Lately since i have been in school i feel like i have gotten dumber. I asked my doctor why I have been getting so absent minded. It is getting worse. I asked zac how I could get my mind tested and he told me an autopsy on my brain. I asked them how they could do that and he told me I had to be dead first. So i guess that option is out.
I am getting so forgetful that it has past the funny mark and gotten really aggrevating. I lock my car keys in my car at least 2-3 times a month. AAA told me that i reached my limit and i can't call them anymore. Actually locked myself out of the house this past weekend. Broke in with a credit card. Shady I know. I have the regular days where I look everywhere for my keys and they are hanging from my hand, forget dates that i made with friends, all kinds of stuff. Last night I accidently put the salad in the pantry and the peanut butter in the fridge. Washed my brand new ipod. I am usually used to it, but today i got pissed.
So last night, I spent an hour getting zac and my dinner made while getting our lunch ready for the next work day (that's today). Made the most perfect lunch ever. Salad with almonds and cheese and turkey and tomoatoes and onions with a side of italian sausage and apples with peanut butter. With nice snacks. I mean doesn't that sound nice? Doesn't lunches like that make you excited to eat? Well I wake up this morning late and I am flying out the door with my stuff trying to make it to work at a decent time.
So i get to work and settle in and ready for breakfast while I check my emails. And my freakin lunch box is no where to be found. I LEFT IT AT HOME! DAMMIT!
So I ask the girls if anyone is ordering today and they tell me that I dont have to worry about it cause we are having a team meeting and we are getting fed! ROCK OUT.
about 15 minutes goes by and I am thinking about when i need to order my food. I am like "Do I want Yoe Xpress? Moe's?" So i ask the girls if they want Yoes or Moes and they look at me crazy. Cause like 15 MINUTES AGO they told me that we are having a meeting where we are being fed. "That's right, that's right".
So by now my stomache is eating my asshole I am so hungry and finally we got to the meeting. I eat some food , finish up the meeting and get back to my desk. about 2 hours goes by and it is time for my snack. I go to the community fridge for my lunch box, not there. I go to the community kitchen, no there, not under my desk. Then I remember that i dont have my lunch box. And now i am getting pissed cause i keep forgetting.
So I am starving by now and I am at work late. HOLY HELL I FORGOT I HAVE YOGURT IN THE FRIDGE. i had like 4 of them in the fridge. ok, so i dont know if you guys know what "activia" yogurt is, but it is supposed to make you "regular" and your supposed to only eat 2 a day. Well definately didn't know that till i was looking at the label while eating my fourth yogurt. Whhhhhhhhhhhhat??
So about an hour goes by and i feel like that movie that the alien crawls out of the guys belly. I didn't know how i was going to make it it the car, let alone make it home. Shit I know i am out of gas too. i am going to have to stop and get gas.
Wouldn't you know it, I unlock my car door, and guess what falls out...
my lunch box.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Well just a short story for your entertainment
I wonder how everyone is feeling right now knowing that we are in a new year now? How many people take the whole new years resolution thing seriously? I think this year i am taking it to heart. I suuuuuuure hate runnin though. As we speak I have my running pants on, ready to go. I think the only thing stopping me is the 2 pound steak, my baked potato with sour cream, sauteed mushrooms and feta cheese salad, along with my sleeping pill. I don't know though...maybe me being lazy. I might try the whole "run before you eat" thing next time huh? (but that steak was goooooooooooooooooooooood)
Well New Years went great. I threw up my vagina around 12:30 am into the new year. I drank so much champagne that i could faint. but if i had to, i would do it again. I swear i puked so much on the outside of my car that it looked like a 10 foot bird flew and projectiled shit all on the side of my car. Bless Zac's heart having to take care of me. I threw up a little in my car too. Yep, sure as HELL haven't cleaned it up. So i bet it is frozen spittle by now. Like throw up dippin dots. Oh well, it is 16 degrees out there and there is no way in HELL i am cleaning throw up when its that cold.
Saw the Sherlock Holmes movie too. it was cool, thats all i can say about that.
today is the first day at work in a long time I didn't smoke on the smoke break. I sure would love to though. Smoking is so great for socializing. I could smoke a pack a day if I didn't have goals to run. Hell If i knew I was going to die within 10 years from now, i would smoke until my jaw fell off. but enough of that, just glad I didn't do it.
Getting my ipod looked at thursday. Yeah some of yall didn't know that I spent a chunk of dough on a new 5 generation ipod only to wash it in the washer. I swear it seems like I am cursed to never have new or nice stuff in my life. Now the ipods screen won't light up so i can't see the songs. Its like a 16 gig ipod shuffle. oh well could be worse.
Zac and I had a talk about the dogs today and how much i think they should die. I swear I have ALWAYS love animals. i really really have. I dont know what makes me dislike them more, the fact that they get on my nerves or the fact that i have to train them in a way I don't beleive in. Maybe I am taking it out on them cause I think the training is stupid. I hope not. Zac told me...no let me rephrase, he asked me if I could talk to the trainer about my issues and see what he says. I know he is getting tired of me bitchin about the furballs. I swear though, if I had to choose to raising 2 toddlers or 2 dogs it would be a toss up right now. best 2 out of three for the toddlers.
ok, sleeping pill kickin in. Take er easy....and if she's easy, take er twice..
Well New Years went great. I threw up my vagina around 12:30 am into the new year. I drank so much champagne that i could faint. but if i had to, i would do it again. I swear i puked so much on the outside of my car that it looked like a 10 foot bird flew and projectiled shit all on the side of my car. Bless Zac's heart having to take care of me. I threw up a little in my car too. Yep, sure as HELL haven't cleaned it up. So i bet it is frozen spittle by now. Like throw up dippin dots. Oh well, it is 16 degrees out there and there is no way in HELL i am cleaning throw up when its that cold.
Saw the Sherlock Holmes movie too. it was cool, thats all i can say about that.
today is the first day at work in a long time I didn't smoke on the smoke break. I sure would love to though. Smoking is so great for socializing. I could smoke a pack a day if I didn't have goals to run. Hell If i knew I was going to die within 10 years from now, i would smoke until my jaw fell off. but enough of that, just glad I didn't do it.
Getting my ipod looked at thursday. Yeah some of yall didn't know that I spent a chunk of dough on a new 5 generation ipod only to wash it in the washer. I swear it seems like I am cursed to never have new or nice stuff in my life. Now the ipods screen won't light up so i can't see the songs. Its like a 16 gig ipod shuffle. oh well could be worse.
Zac and I had a talk about the dogs today and how much i think they should die. I swear I have ALWAYS love animals. i really really have. I dont know what makes me dislike them more, the fact that they get on my nerves or the fact that i have to train them in a way I don't beleive in. Maybe I am taking it out on them cause I think the training is stupid. I hope not. Zac told me...no let me rephrase, he asked me if I could talk to the trainer about my issues and see what he says. I know he is getting tired of me bitchin about the furballs. I swear though, if I had to choose to raising 2 toddlers or 2 dogs it would be a toss up right now. best 2 out of three for the toddlers.
ok, sleeping pill kickin in. Take er easy....and if she's easy, take er twice..
Saturday, January 2, 2010
2010 finally. I think this year is going to be the best.
After contemplating my thoughts for the last month or two, I have finally figured out what I have learned in 2009 and what I might make my 2010 New Years resolution. Everyone always has the "get in shape" resolution, which I do too, but I wanted something more. I am 25 years old and this time I want something that will count for real. I wanted something that would cause a major life change that would not only affect me, but effect others as well.
Before I get into that let me first start off saying that 2009 was a very hard year for me. A good one to learn from, but a hard one. Zac and I made it through our one year married mark, it seems like the "year of transition" was so hard that i thought we would never make it through. But now it seems like the waters are calming down and Zac and I are finding our place with each other.
Went back to school this year, which was very stressful. Had to organize with Veterans Affairs (since dad is a veteran) and also with my doctor (since I have ADHD) to see if there was any way I could get my school paid for. It sure is an ongoing battle when you try to get money from someone else you know? DAMN. Got this past year paid for and the finish line will be here in August. I am graduating with a gay degree, but I am just so lucky to be graduating. I never thought I would. The time flew by this past year, so hopefully these last two semesters go by fast too. I will be the first to graduate from my family so that means alot.
I watched Zac fall to rock bottom with his 5 year battle with weight and self confidence. I tell ya, there is nothing worse when you see someone you love or your best friend keep falling and there is nothing you can do about it. He thought all was lost but toward the end of this year I watched in awe as my husband overcame some of his biggest demons and temptations. He has lost over 50 pounds already and is trying to get in the navy to pay for his pharmacy school loans. He is finally going back to school in January to finish his last 2 years. He did the 180 degrees on his own without anyone’s help. Words cannot describe how very proud I am of him, and how awesome it is going to be to watch his confidence and body form into the Greek god he was when I met him...and i bet this time he will even pass that point. He is such a beautiful man that I catch myself watching his face while he sleeps while I get ready for work in the morning. He had a really really tough year this year, but he has no idea how awesome 2010 is going to be for him.
I lost 30 pounds this year, mostly because of the medicine I am taking so I can't take credit. I sure feel better about myself though. I love to dress up. I think that 30 pounds lost is a blessing and I would love to start the new year off with a new hobby of exercising and running. I would love to get back into weights and go for my old look of "I'm a little butch but a little hot too". I know I just got to get out there and do it, and I know I can, so as most people say, this is one of my little new year's resolutions.
Had a lot of stressful situations come up with our animals this year. Having 2 dogs in the house with my 2 cats in a town home was a dumb dumb DUMB idea on my part. I swear i feel there is nothing I can do to make myself like these 2 dogs. I know that these two fur balls are major stressors in my life and I am hoping to find a solution to this major problem this year. They have been a thorn in my side all year in 2009 and they made me really upset many times. Caused and is still causing fights with Zac and I. I am not saying that I am going to work on loving the dogs and loving the fact that we are all crammed together, but I hope that I am either given the grace to accept the situation I put myself into or pray for God to be resolved in the way God wants it to. Cause I just don't like it, and that is that.
Had a lot of friendships tested this year which caused invisible grey hairs to come up on my head. I had to truly come to the conclusion that I give of myself, my time and my resources to a limit that gets me burned every time. Instead of trying to tame a lion, I just put my head in it's mouth. I am learning to be very content with the very few friends I have. HOWEVER, I have had a wonderful blessing this year. I had some new friends placed in my life since I started my job. So even though I might have been faced with some tribulations before, it is so worth to be gaining friends like them in return. I am looking forward to the New Year with them and seeing what type of trouble I might get into with them.
Another fear faced and overcome. The beginning of 2009 I was fired very unfairly from my job at Hoover working with individuals with disabilities. No reasons, no explanations, just got the box. I was devastated. I gained about 30 pounds in a month and didn't leave the house. I cried and cried because I loved my job (H-A-T-E-D the boss lady though). I was terrified. I had just gotten married and just bought a house, new bills and I was making good money. How was I going to get paid like that since I didn't have a degree? I WAS SO SCARED AND PISSED. However, because of prayers and family, I ended up landing a great job at a law firm and loving every bit of it. I do not mind going into work every day, (but sometimes i wish i could sleep in though!) I have had to slowly but finally say goodbye to all of my Hoover kids in my heart, which really took the whole year for me to accept and to heal from.
I started some bad little habits this year. Smoking was one. Not that I think I am addicted to it, but I noticed that I am smoking a lot more than needed. With a beer….no biggie, but when I am trying to hide it, then it’s a problem. I think someone gave me some advice one time… “if you have to hide it, then you don’t need to be doing it. “ Used to be that I thought that can do whatever…it is just how good are you at not getting caught. But now I think that I am at a point in my life that I don’t want to be in that situation and I would just play by karma’s rules.
Had to go to the doctor to face that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which might make my chances having kids tougher than normal. Made me a little upset to know that later in life I might be faced with some health issues because of this. I guess I have given this weight up to God finally and I am glad that I have this doctor visit over with so I can take care of myself early on.
I fell off the church train. I really regret I did. I gave a lot of my time this year to the church. I lectured and helped with the “Engaged Encounter” group at church. But towards the end of the year I fell off the train. I hope that since we are starting the new year, that I start church on the right foot. God has always been so very good to me, I should give back. And I am doing such a crappy job.
Other than school , first year a marriage and other relationships being tested, losing and gaining a job, and all these little bumps in the road, I was faced with one of the hardest situations in my life around the end of this year. I wish I could delve into detail with names and all, but I am not able to, sorry. After crying hysterically for 2 days, losing 5 pounds and having a genuine panic attack, I (along with the help of some family and my doctor) realized that NOBODY is allowed to affect my feelings like that. I think that I am a genuine person that is fair and very easy to get along with. I think I was blessed with a heart that can sense right and wrong and what is fair and not. If I make a decision that involves other people, I think that I am usually very fair. I should never be made to feel guilty about a decision I make if I try my best with every effort to be fair and nice.
This year I was told that I am sometimes a person who gives too much. That I give more than I should and that I expect the same in return sometimes. This leads to my heart being broken. I was told that I let others affect my feelings far too much. I was told that I let “my day” affect my mood and my feelings. If I had a bad day, then I would be in a bad mood.
So that is my New Year’s resolution. I am not going to give so much to a point where I am stranded like a fuel tank on empty. I am not going to let people make me feel guilty or upset me especially when I am trying to be fair, honest and nice. Cause when I let people or situations get to me, I get physically sick and anxious. So instead of me trying to not get sick or anxious, I will just not put myself in that situation. I also want to add to my new years resolution that I will try harder to be nicer and sweeter to Zac (and others too) even if I have had a good or bad day. He deserves it. I think that if I treat him kindly and do little things for him, he will learn how to do it for me in return. At least I hope for that.
I think that 2010 is going to be a big milestone in my life. I feel like a lot of my life’s accomplishments are going to be done in 2010. It is going to be a good year.
Before I get into that let me first start off saying that 2009 was a very hard year for me. A good one to learn from, but a hard one. Zac and I made it through our one year married mark, it seems like the "year of transition" was so hard that i thought we would never make it through. But now it seems like the waters are calming down and Zac and I are finding our place with each other.
Went back to school this year, which was very stressful. Had to organize with Veterans Affairs (since dad is a veteran) and also with my doctor (since I have ADHD) to see if there was any way I could get my school paid for. It sure is an ongoing battle when you try to get money from someone else you know? DAMN. Got this past year paid for and the finish line will be here in August. I am graduating with a gay degree, but I am just so lucky to be graduating. I never thought I would. The time flew by this past year, so hopefully these last two semesters go by fast too. I will be the first to graduate from my family so that means alot.
I watched Zac fall to rock bottom with his 5 year battle with weight and self confidence. I tell ya, there is nothing worse when you see someone you love or your best friend keep falling and there is nothing you can do about it. He thought all was lost but toward the end of this year I watched in awe as my husband overcame some of his biggest demons and temptations. He has lost over 50 pounds already and is trying to get in the navy to pay for his pharmacy school loans. He is finally going back to school in January to finish his last 2 years. He did the 180 degrees on his own without anyone’s help. Words cannot describe how very proud I am of him, and how awesome it is going to be to watch his confidence and body form into the Greek god he was when I met him...and i bet this time he will even pass that point. He is such a beautiful man that I catch myself watching his face while he sleeps while I get ready for work in the morning. He had a really really tough year this year, but he has no idea how awesome 2010 is going to be for him.
I lost 30 pounds this year, mostly because of the medicine I am taking so I can't take credit. I sure feel better about myself though. I love to dress up. I think that 30 pounds lost is a blessing and I would love to start the new year off with a new hobby of exercising and running. I would love to get back into weights and go for my old look of "I'm a little butch but a little hot too". I know I just got to get out there and do it, and I know I can, so as most people say, this is one of my little new year's resolutions.
Had a lot of stressful situations come up with our animals this year. Having 2 dogs in the house with my 2 cats in a town home was a dumb dumb DUMB idea on my part. I swear i feel there is nothing I can do to make myself like these 2 dogs. I know that these two fur balls are major stressors in my life and I am hoping to find a solution to this major problem this year. They have been a thorn in my side all year in 2009 and they made me really upset many times. Caused and is still causing fights with Zac and I. I am not saying that I am going to work on loving the dogs and loving the fact that we are all crammed together, but I hope that I am either given the grace to accept the situation I put myself into or pray for God to be resolved in the way God wants it to. Cause I just don't like it, and that is that.
Had a lot of friendships tested this year which caused invisible grey hairs to come up on my head. I had to truly come to the conclusion that I give of myself, my time and my resources to a limit that gets me burned every time. Instead of trying to tame a lion, I just put my head in it's mouth. I am learning to be very content with the very few friends I have. HOWEVER, I have had a wonderful blessing this year. I had some new friends placed in my life since I started my job. So even though I might have been faced with some tribulations before, it is so worth to be gaining friends like them in return. I am looking forward to the New Year with them and seeing what type of trouble I might get into with them.
Another fear faced and overcome. The beginning of 2009 I was fired very unfairly from my job at Hoover working with individuals with disabilities. No reasons, no explanations, just got the box. I was devastated. I gained about 30 pounds in a month and didn't leave the house. I cried and cried because I loved my job (H-A-T-E-D the boss lady though). I was terrified. I had just gotten married and just bought a house, new bills and I was making good money. How was I going to get paid like that since I didn't have a degree? I WAS SO SCARED AND PISSED. However, because of prayers and family, I ended up landing a great job at a law firm and loving every bit of it. I do not mind going into work every day, (but sometimes i wish i could sleep in though!) I have had to slowly but finally say goodbye to all of my Hoover kids in my heart, which really took the whole year for me to accept and to heal from.
I started some bad little habits this year. Smoking was one. Not that I think I am addicted to it, but I noticed that I am smoking a lot more than needed. With a beer….no biggie, but when I am trying to hide it, then it’s a problem. I think someone gave me some advice one time… “if you have to hide it, then you don’t need to be doing it. “ Used to be that I thought that can do whatever…it is just how good are you at not getting caught. But now I think that I am at a point in my life that I don’t want to be in that situation and I would just play by karma’s rules.
Had to go to the doctor to face that I have Polycystic Ovarian Syndrome, which might make my chances having kids tougher than normal. Made me a little upset to know that later in life I might be faced with some health issues because of this. I guess I have given this weight up to God finally and I am glad that I have this doctor visit over with so I can take care of myself early on.
I fell off the church train. I really regret I did. I gave a lot of my time this year to the church. I lectured and helped with the “Engaged Encounter” group at church. But towards the end of the year I fell off the train. I hope that since we are starting the new year, that I start church on the right foot. God has always been so very good to me, I should give back. And I am doing such a crappy job.
Other than school , first year a marriage and other relationships being tested, losing and gaining a job, and all these little bumps in the road, I was faced with one of the hardest situations in my life around the end of this year. I wish I could delve into detail with names and all, but I am not able to, sorry. After crying hysterically for 2 days, losing 5 pounds and having a genuine panic attack, I (along with the help of some family and my doctor) realized that NOBODY is allowed to affect my feelings like that. I think that I am a genuine person that is fair and very easy to get along with. I think I was blessed with a heart that can sense right and wrong and what is fair and not. If I make a decision that involves other people, I think that I am usually very fair. I should never be made to feel guilty about a decision I make if I try my best with every effort to be fair and nice.
This year I was told that I am sometimes a person who gives too much. That I give more than I should and that I expect the same in return sometimes. This leads to my heart being broken. I was told that I let others affect my feelings far too much. I was told that I let “my day” affect my mood and my feelings. If I had a bad day, then I would be in a bad mood.
So that is my New Year’s resolution. I am not going to give so much to a point where I am stranded like a fuel tank on empty. I am not going to let people make me feel guilty or upset me especially when I am trying to be fair, honest and nice. Cause when I let people or situations get to me, I get physically sick and anxious. So instead of me trying to not get sick or anxious, I will just not put myself in that situation. I also want to add to my new years resolution that I will try harder to be nicer and sweeter to Zac (and others too) even if I have had a good or bad day. He deserves it. I think that if I treat him kindly and do little things for him, he will learn how to do it for me in return. At least I hope for that.
I think that 2010 is going to be a big milestone in my life. I feel like a lot of my life’s accomplishments are going to be done in 2010. It is going to be a good year.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
