All about my 10 day mental trip

So I have been MIA for the last weekish. I have been going thru a 10 day hell trip with my mentality and my physical being. (no i am not bi-polar, sckitzo, suicidal...) I had to get on some hormones for my body so I can get this body we call "Mae Martin" primed for babies and to avoid the chances of that unexpected friend cancer. So these pills I am taking are actually made for menopausal women. I was taking a major dose. When I mean major, I was taking such a large dose that I am suprised I didn't turn into a transvestite or get confused with my sexuality. Needless to say I would cry if the wind blew just right and if Zac had 1 oz of attitude in his voice I would eat his ass for dinner! Bless his heart. I got very forgetful (the last blog) and I was so emotional and felt like all was against me! It SUCKED. I tell ya, I would rather have walking pnemonia, naked in the woods in front of 1000 people then go through that again. I bet zac would trade and be naked in front of a 1000 people too to avaiod me being that way again too. bless his heart. The best way to describe this feeling is the squirrel in the ice-age movie, but female with a PMS times 10.

I was eating candy hand over fists, chugging coke like I was about to die, threw up a couple times (the toliet was my friend for many other reasons), had a 10 day headache and was exausted like i ran a marathon in my sleep. I was mean a rattle snake if something rubbed me the wrong way and zac and I were NOT buddies during this time. (bless his heart...)  But let me tell you my favorite story about this...

About 3 months ago, I bought tickets online for my favorite comedian, Brian Regan. He was playing in Montgomery around 7:30 pm in Montgomery on a random Thursday night in January. I was supermuch excited. Last time he came we ate at a sushi restaraunt before and ate so much we got sick, showed up at the Alabama Theater and every time we laughed i thought i was going to throw up or fart in front of everyone. So we tried to plan better this next time ;)

So i bought the tickets, 70 bucks, and put it on my calendar. Sadly I have to plan things many months ahead of time since I am in school and working and zac is doing the same. Between, school, work, friends, family, God and the house in general, Zac and I do not have much time where we can do something we enjoy just us two that doesn't include just watching TV. I was very very very excited.

So, thursday finally came, I get off work at 4:45pm instead of 4:30. And that 15 minutes caused me to be in traffic about 1 hour before getting home. So now we are hitting 5:45 and zac is ill because we obviously do not have enough time to stop and sit down for a good dinner and I am ill because I feel like Zac is insinuating (is that how you spell it?) that is is my fault I didn't plan to get off work early. "Sorry, I guess I didn't plan that there would be a wreck on the highway, my bad...." My smart ass, hormonal mind was saying. (I was still on the 10 day hell ride). So we were both being shit asses talking to each other while pulling into wendy's to grab a quick bight while driving to Momtgomery. I was taking everything wrong that Zac said and I started to cry and get upset. I apologized for making this last 10 days so emoitional and hard and that I wish they could just rip out the ovaries and be done with it than have to go through this crying shit anymore. He agreed jokingly which was stupid cause when he did my eye started twitching.....twitching...cause I was about to LOSE IT.

So I was upset and being quiet, so was zac, we were running late, the tom tom kept confusing me so I kept taking wrong turns which had Zac yelling at me telling me where to turn, which made me start crying, which made zac pissed, which made me cry more....yes it was a vicious cylce. So it is 7:20, the show starts in 10 minutes and we are right outside the civic center we are supposed to be in. Zac is trying to tell me where to park, I keep messing up and then I cut across traffic and yep, you guessed it. I get pulled over RIGHT OUTSIDE THE F-N PLACE WE ARE SUPPOSED TO BE IN. I am about to cry my eyeballs out now, cause I have a feeling that if this policeman says one smart thing I am going to crawl his ass and Zac will end up going to jail because of me. (Yes this medicine gave me some big cah-hones). So the officer comes up to the car and he was cute as hell and says "You know that one of your headlights is blown?" One of the very few braincells I had left died of shock. I was thinking " All this shit I am going through, the hurry we are in, the way I feel, and this guy pulls me over CAUSE OF A HEADLIGHT???" man talk about being at the wrong place at thr WRONG TIME. So i give him my license. I can't find the insurance card so i give him an expired one to look over and he sits in his car for a long 15 minutes to make sure I am not a murderer or wnated for drug trafficing in his data base. I was bitching in the car, zac was bitching at me bitching which made me bitch more. I WAS GETTING LIVIDLY PISSED. The cute cop comes back, gives me a warning and sends me on my way. So now we are trying to find a parking, zac keeps pointing at a park deck, I am getting lost and confused, he tells me "THAT ONE THAT ONE!" So i cut traffic, go into this parking deck which cost like 5 bucks an hour, get a ticket hurriedly while crying, and go up a one way ramp. He is like "park here...PARK HERE!" I turned and parked INTO a valet parking spot and I can't pull out cause it is a one way and just so happened a thousand people decided to come into the parking deck right then. It is like 7:50 now and I say "F-IT, WE ARE GOING HOME." Zac goies to tell me how to go and I make i t a point to state that if he looked in my general direction, breathed in my general direction, or tells me what to do at all his ass is staying in Montgomery. We drive home an hour & half in silence.

Yes when I got to work, I had flowers deleivered. Zac and I are friends now.